Misadventures in Behaviour Modification

That kid! I’ve been frustrated since Ghis is the only one who can make her go to sleep. I can make her go to bed. Then she plays for an hour or two before falling asleep. In less than a month, we’re going to Vancouver (without Ghis), so I thought I would try to do something about the situation. Since I am not very effective at scaring her, I thought I’d try behaviour modification. And since Ghis has been away, it was a good time to experiment.

The first night I casually mentioned that there would be a surprise if she stayed in her bed. Of course, she had already been playing in her bed for an hour. But for whatever reason – maybe because it was 9 o’clock – she did go to sleep. In the morning, she reminded me and said, “Where’s my surprise?”

I didn’t have anything ready, so I reached for my lollipop stash. Bad idea! I told her she couldn’t eat it before breakfast, of course. So, suddenly she pushed her breakfast away and refused to eat anything. She was saving room. I would ask, “Are you finished?” She would say yes and can I eat my lollipop now?

She ended up having a time-out in her room and she never did get to eat the lollipop. And she never really ate breakfast either. So, I learned my first lesson: no edible surprises in the morning.

Later that day, I picked up a few toys at the local bazar and put them in the ‘surprise box.’ Before bed, I began to explain that I would give her a coupon and if she stayed in her bed and tried to sleep, she could keep the coupon and choose a surprise in the morning. If she got out of bed, I would take the coupon away.

Amazingly, it seemed to work. I put her to bed and explained again, and I never heard another noise. I was very pleased that she had earned her first surprise, since without some success, the system would not work. Eventually she would have to do three nights well before getting a surprise and so on.

In the morning, I reminded her that she had earned a surprise.

“But mommy,” she said. “I ate the coupon.”

She showed me the shredded bits of paper.

“That’s okay,” I said. “You can have your surprise anyway.”

Tonight we’ll try again and this time, maybe the coupon will have to be a little more solid. Oh, wait. It’s the babysitters night tonight. Yeeha!

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